Posted by: exmstmember2009 | May 14, 2010

Former Deerfield resident and OCR employee describes what was living at Deerfield compound

I was living a successful but frustrated life before I was introduced to MST. So I have some things to be thankfulness for my experience. The classes I took introduced me to a method of thought that allowed me to “let go”. This letting go allowed me to have a better experience in the later days of my successful existence before moving to Deerfield.

What brought me to Deerfield was a young lady. At the time I was deeply in love with her and I thought I was going to be able to *save her*. I left my employer with the arrangement that I might return in a few months. All my belongings went into storage in Los Angeles. I actually did some research before I left for Deerfield on Cults, so I had some awareness before I arrived.

I spent the Nutman season working away, but for me this was a vacation – so I was having fun. I made some observations and came to the idea that this was a low overhead work force scam. I recall having intense arguments with my partner about this. Yet, I was alone in my thought and really couldn’t stand out to make this fight.

"I spent the Nutman season working away, but for me this was a vacation – so I was having fun. I made some observations and came to the idea that this was a low overhead work force scam."

What followed was almost the immediate dismantling of my relationship. I didn’t give up though – I’m stubborn and wanted to fight for this love. I stuck it out for about another 6 month… but in that 6 months the delusion slowly faded. I was being given more and more access to information. I worked for Creative Field and was actually enjoying my time there. Sure the pay was crap, but I was young and I was there for a purpose. (ONE) I partially bought into the whole save the planet deal (TWO) I was in love.

The beginning of my fall out was when I was tasked to database the entire picture library that Creative Field had. This took many upon many hours to do… and was it boring!! You see, I have a degree in Electrical Engineering and a fairly successful young career in a particular industry… and there I was looking at pictures and deciding what categories this picture fell into.. I felt my very life draining away.

In this time, I saw pictures.. old pictures with previous members… I came across old phone lists and observed a pattern… a pattern of people coming and not returning to what was suppose to be the works of God.. this was my only partner in questioning what the hell was going on.

Anyone that had some skill of reason had to question the wealth and the *leadership* triangle that was going on… but the control factors were in place to squash those questions.

So I couldn’t find commonalty in my fellow members… instead I held onto some email addresses that I found. I regress… the key is I began to lose interest in Deerfield as I found my skill sets being wasted and realizing I was not gaining any ground in my attempts to save my relationship.

I thought Deerfield could really improve by having a compost bin – after feeding 100 or so people 2 meals a day.. there was plenty of bio waste that could be composted and used to replenish the grass lands or a garden (which by the way was losing yield as I was there and the farmer that harvested grass every year was suggesting to let it mulch for a few years – HOW OBVIOUS CAN IT BE THAT THE LAND WAS BEING RAPED AND NOTHING GIVEN BACK TO IT!!).. anyway I was really into the idea and created a proposal… which I felt was given little consideration by the *leaders* and sent me into a path of deep doubt… If you are not willing to take waste and turn it into rich soil.. its a small detail, maybe stupid.. but its in the details we can find truth.

Anyway, I was becoming more frustrated. I wanted to visit a friend in Oregon and I asked Gregg about going.. the response was basically a no without specifically saying it (“the cost to the Lord” “the benefit to the Lord”.. shit man, I’m going to visit a friend. Is the Lord paying my Airfare?.. this was my clue that *Lord* was more like a code word for *the leadership*).

Then there was the mad house building period I got pulled from the mundane Photo categorizing. This I was thankful for. The “Men’s Work Pattern”… well it was fun for some of it, and then there was the restoration of the house that was once lived in by Melissa and her boyfriend (never really knew the guy). Crap what a shit hole! How the hell can someone create such a fucking shit hole!!

That place was smelly, unkept, and down right dirty. I recall being disgusted so much that as one may feel about a haunted house.. that house was my haunted house of filth. Even after the place was scrubbed, painted and re-carpeted… it was still filthy to me.

Around this time there was a service about repenting and to get rid of what doesn’t belong… and boy did this hit home… yea.. I DON”T BELONG IN DEERFIELD!! I wrote what may have been my first Response (or at least truthful response) to Grant and I told him I didn’t belong and that I was in Deerfield for the wrong reasons. I opened the door for him to define how it best for me to depart from Deerfield.. under his terms.

The next day, as I’m helping another cult member clean out bat guano from the House that Rob lived in.. Grant comes by to *talk*… its me and Grant discussing my Response. I tell out right that I came to Deerfield for a girl and that I wasn’t here to save the world. This wasn’t a good reason to be in Deerfield.

What Grant did in response was to talk to me in a fashion that was positive if I stayed, negative if I left. Text book manipulation/mind control techniques. Honestly, I felt fear as he spoke to me about leaving.. but his mistake was to tell me I would fail if I went to the outside. Sorry Grant, that was my crossing point. I was already intending on leaving, but I gave it to you to define how I left. Once you told me I would fail, nope, you were not my friend.. nor were you someone I could trust.

The conclusion of that conversation was me agreeing with Grant, but on the inside, I was already calculating my departure. My sudden and silent departure. With already my mind set and my blindfold off, I saw Deerfield in such a different light. Everyone there (almost everyone) were such wonderful people. I really enjoyed their company and would do so still today… but I was a single person in a sea of manipulation and could not trust anyone with my thoughts – for fear of something. For the next month, confirmation of what I was about to do was so sure. I got the wonderful opportunity to sit at the head table at dinner and observe the awkwardness of the Leadership… what really struck me was Melissa not eating and her responses to my questions. I don’t recall those questions, but only that something was up. There was a special meeting called between Grant, myself, and the young lady I followed to Deerfield- the end result was Grant *suggesting* we make our relationship work… how obvious can you be man? I’m not stupid!

"The assignment to move out of the lodge came and to move to *my haunted house*. Just another reason for me to leave, but it didn’t matter, everything was in place for my departure already. All my things were already secretly shipped to the west coast, my plane ticket out of Atlanta purchased, and a rental car to drive myself to the airport waiting. Spent one night in the *haunted house* with a single bag of packed clothing.. all I had to do was wait for Sunday afternoon… the only time in the week when each person’s location wasn’t accounted for and we could be anywhere with anyone (or alone). "

The assignment to move out of the lodge came and to move to *my haunted house*. Just another reason for me to leave, but it didn’t matter, everything was in place for my departure already. All my things were already secretly shipped to the west coast, my plane ticket out of Atlanta purchased, and a rental car to drive myself to the airport waiting. Spent one night in the *haunted house* with a single bag of packed clothing.. all I had to do was wait for Sunday afternoon… the only time in the week when each person’s location wasn’t accounted for and we could be anywhere with anyone (or alone).

Before I left, I dropped off a gift to signal my farewell to the young lady. It turns out she was running late to dinner, so I didn’t plan for her to see me as I approached her house. In the end it was the best possible way to end it. My only regret is the few children that I made a small connection with. I regret leaving them with no proper farewell. As for Grant, suck it buddy!! The list of my successes after I left is a wonderful gift to my life. On one side of the coin you disgust me with your manipulation, on the other side of the coin, I am grateful for the freedom I have achieved.

Much love to those past members of MST. For current members, God’s speed to the truth.

"The biggest clue that leaving was a good idea – Announcement that Melissa and Greg were getting married!?! WTF!! Are you kidding me???? How can anyone in there right mind eat a bowl of bad guano and look at you in the face and say… hmm that tastes good." "I always thought that Melissa and Gregg did the naughty in the sanctuary and this is why it got closed down for *attunment* and why she had a child so soon."

I forgot to mention the biggest clue that leaving was a good idea – Announcement that Melissa and Greg were getting married!?! WTF!! Are you kidding me???? How can anyone in there right mind eat a bowl of bad guano and look at you in the face and say… hmm that tastes good. How this was spun and people in whatever MST class at that same time were glossy eyed and saying “yes, this makes perfect sense”. I don’t wish to offend anyone.. but common! Paige and Gregg were together for 6 some years. She was very attractive.. and they were engaged!! I always thought that Melissa and Gregg did the naughty in the sanctuary and this is why it got closed down for *attunment* and why she had a child so soon.

By: Milos on May 14, 2010 at 4:25 am

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Responses

  1. Thanks Milos for your courage to tell us your story. I’m sure all of us can relate to some or all your observations.
    What a story about your escape to freedom! This is so brave and fantastic and so sad at the same time that you had no one to talk to, no way to say good bye to those people you loved.
    You say,

    The beginning of my fall out was when I was tasked to database the entire picture library that Creative Field had. This took many upon many hours to do… and was it boring!!”

    That’s exactly what happened to me. The reason I started to wake up was I was tasked to do a mechanical work and I could not take any decision. Boredom made me realize I could not stay here any more. But I also got so disappointed to see the smartest and most loyal people being humiliated to do menial works, wasting therefore their skills and talents. Gregg Hake and Jane Clarke were the master manipulators who would make sure we would be humble and bend in appreciation to the Lord for the opportunity of purification. The memories of all that systematic humiliation makes me cry.

    “…what really struck me was Melissa not eating…”

    Hey! You are not alone here, that’s the great mystery. For sure she eats, just look at her size and you know It, but according to people who worked in the kitchen she despised the food prepared at the lodge. When I worked at BSI we would sometimes have cakes or treats and she would always pretend she didn’t eat that type of things. Yeah right!

    Announcement that Melissa and Gregg were getting married…”

    well, that was the tipping point for most of us. Has anybody ever seen them together?
    The employees at Energetix have not
    The staff at The Spa on Green Street have not
    The holistic practioners who attend the Energetix Lyceum and Energetix Colleges have not
    The business people who attend the events of the Greater Hall Chamber of Commerce have not
    Those who have seen Melissa are sure that the babies were conceived in vitro, nobody can imagine another way.
    As for the filthy home Milos, that is not a problem any more at the Hake’s residence, they have a 24/7 maid. A very loyal servant of the Lord, they married her to the Spa on Green Street’s Naturopath. Double gain here: a loyal maid married to the spa’s money maker, their faithful slaves.

    • S.B is not the only maid. Let’s not forget Zach. He’s there to work hard for his sister, his nephews and the dogs. I guess that a few years from now he will look back and ask himself: “where did my life go?” Very sad.

      In any case, back to Milos’ letter, this is a touching and great story. I like how you could see things for what they were and finally got your freedom from this fraud. I agree with you and ShekinahP; they give very smart people the most mechanical and low skilled jobs. That’s part of the humiliation/manipulation . They will tell the new -of the “world”- employees that the company will give them the opportunity to grow, but actually it is the the opportunity to shrink.

  2. Thanks dude, I always liked you and wondered where you went….I guess your better off now, so am I. I still have your ministry of music/sound cd and I love it. I do remember those day being very unusual indeed.

    • Hoot
      Thank you for your words! Never be afraid to express yourself in life. Keep yourself cool and controlled whenever dealing with matters of strong emotions and articulate what’s on your mind. There is plenty of good that came out of the Deerfield. The sad truth is the control and power imbalance that was present. That is my opinion. You have the right to your own and I wish to impress with you that you and you alone define your truth.
      I’m glad you still have the CDs 🙂


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