Posted by: exmstmember2009 | January 18, 2012

Answers anyone?

Post by Cult Victim

When I was part of the Deerfield cult in Dahlonega, working for OCR and Energetix Corporation, I remember that the most common words you would hear coming out of everybody’s mouths were: wonderful, beautiful and blessed. In spite of that, most of us will admit that we did have questions popping up in our heads. Was everything really wonderful? There was always something, some situation, some little detail that would make us want to give an opinion or to just ask the reason behind things.

What kind of answers did we get? Everything was ambiguous, secretive and full of cultish complicated words that would make us want to keep so many of our questions to ourselves, out of shame or fear of rejection. After all, who were we to want to understand the reasons behind every weird thing that was going on? Who were we to question “the Lord and His representatives” on earth?

Well, do you remember the answers that Jane W. Clarke, Grant Clarke and Gregg Hake would give us, particularly in order to dodge the subject, to not take any responsibility, to do nothing about it, to get off the point, or to simply shut us up? Oh, I still remember some of them, answers with which they would “say” something, without really saying anything! Here are some examples:

–        “Hmm.. interesting point. Let me put that into consideration.”

–        “Why do you want to know?”

–        “Let’s put that on the back burner.”

–        …..(just silence), pretending to be listening to us, while putting some pressure for us to try to answer ourselves and finally stop.

–        Simply a cartoon, one of Gregg’s favorite “answers” to emails, using his “charming sense of humor” to confuse us and deviate our attention. No words, no explanations, only this:

Did you ever get a valid and clear answer to something? Can you remember any other examples of how the Clarkes or Gregory Hake replied to your concerns or ideas?

How about: “Let me run it by Gregg” / or “by Jane”? That one was and is used left and right to keep control of things. In fact, I see those ex-friends who are still part of Energetix and OCR, so loyal to Gregg, so lost, who look so worn out and aged, that continue to run everything by their cult leaders, their gods. No empowerment, no questions asked, just stressful work and desperate attempts to gain some respect, and mainly money!

Those of you who are still Gregg Hake’s disciples are not going to get any answers from him, the Worsters or the Clarkes. Let me tell you, you won’t find any explanation in emails, but counter questions; you won’t find any answers in blogs full of “inspiring” quotes and words by famous people from the past. That copy-paste technique is just dodging.

At the end of the day, you will look back and ask YOURSELF, “Did I really do what I wanted to do in my life? Did I have my dream job where all of my efforts and strong work were worthy? Did I accomplish something really good for me and my family? Do I have any value?” Now, those are the questions that can be answered only by YOU.




    • I do remember the lies they told us about you when you left. Grant Clarke was pictured as such a generous man because apparently you stole all the tools from them and still Grant gave you a truck as farewell present.

      • Ohhh, now that you say that, I remember! That thing of giving him a truck “in spite of everything” was total bullsh*t (like everything they said about EVERY SINGLE person who left. I personally laugh at what they said about me when I left. Bullcrap)

    • I just want to know what happened to Hapy

      • me too! I remember when she left…I knew something was going on, but I was only an 8th grader at the time

    • I do remember you and remember how i enjoyed your company. To say that what I personally experienced there, would take a few days, and even then probably would’nt even come close to describing the effects that this place had on myself and family. The most memorable experience we shared was delivering for the Nutman in Atlanta, and getting a large stone wedged between the rear tires of that delivery van. And the Party we all attended at the end of the year. I got so drunk that night!!!!! I find this site very helpful. I am sorry that so many lives were also damaged by this cult. When I finally left, there was no info out there about this place. Now it is big news! At least now I have some valadation to my story. Anyhow, I don’t want to spend to much time opening old wounds, but I thought I would at least share that one memory! Take care my friend.

  2. I remember you as well. We drove together to do the Nutman deliveries your last season there. I remember getting a ticket in Atlanta for not having a seat belt on as a passenger (I believe it was a $10 fine).

    Your version of building things for them is accurate. You practically built the Attunement Sanctuary yourself. The device you created to build the upper part of the sanctuary without the need of anyone else was genius (I think where the trusses went). That kind of work is worth a lot of money to those who appreciate it.

    I also remember your frustration with them in the end. One story in particular was when they would not reimburse you for a purchase you made because you lost the receipt. You were not happy then. Grant came up to me that night in the Nutman warehouse after our last ride and asked me what you and I talked about. He told me not to worry too much about what you said. You were angry at things. Imagine how you must feel knowing how well they are all doing now.

    The next person I drove with for Nutman deliveries also shortly left, frustrated as well. I should save that for another day.

  3. Mr. Situation,
    I just wanted to say how glad I am to hear from you. I remember the last time I saw you and how you seemed so happy and carefree because you were free! I remember the feeling of sadness and self-righteousness I felt in that moment thinking that you were/had ”fallen” – back into the wicked, wicked “World The Way It Is”.
    I remember Grant’s words to the effect that your name would not even be remembered by the Lord.
    How sad.
    How sad that we were trained to believe that of someone who had contributed so much for such a long time.
    I’m sorry I felt that way about you then, but I realize it was part of the conditioning we received.
    I hope you are happy and well.

    Hmmm…I wonder if “The Lord” has forgotten all of our names???
    Here’s a question to all on “the wire”:
    Do any of you have PTSD type dreams of the unit? If so, can you imagine that the leaders might also be having the same types of dreams of us?

    I have another important question to ask you all and I hope this generates some discussion,
    We all know what happened was wrong- there’s plenty to back that up. But, now what? What would it take to truly heal the oozing sore within each heart? Revenge? Hush-money? Denial? Having our leaders come forth and apologize – what if that never happens?
    What are you doing for yourself to move forward?
    For me personally, the only way out of it is for me to be able to forgive (not forgetting, because I never want to go through that again- nor should anyone else) – not easy but it seems like the only way. It’s actually self-serving because I believe that to continue to hold ill-will in my heart will only hurt me. All the years of anger have already proven that to me- So that’s what I’ve been working on. I’d like to ask where people are in their own process.
    No judgments please-just sharing for the purpose of healing the wounds.

    • Yes, everybody is processing all of this in their own ways, and that’s why we shouldn’t judge each other. I agree with you.

      I can’t understand that “forgive but not forget” thing. How does that work? How can somebody forget they’ve been abused mentally, spiritually – and even physically in some cases?
      Personally, I don’t give all of my energy and thoughts to these people at all. That would be a waste. I don’t feel angry or frustrated, for my friends, my family and my job are what really really matter.

      I think that to move on doesn’t mean to have forgotten and forgiven. Whenever I have the chance to tell everybody I know about my experiences in Energetix, Spa On Green Street, OCR and the MST cult, I take that opportunity to help others not to fall in this kind of scam. In my case, I feel THIS has been truly self-serving and healing.

    • ttmygh, I think that, from my perspective, watching what could have been something uniquely invaluable and world changing, begin to rot at the center and gradually spread, like a gangrenous wound, to taint everything it touched, was what grieved me the most deeply. In order to find solid ground, I looked around me as the MST presence was withdrawn, and actively sought ways to serve the rest of mankind in my world. True to principal, I discovered that service based on response is the only way to be of any value to anyone and that the opportunities to serve are limitless. Almost no one I encounter has a true sensing of their intrinsic value as a human being. Few have an idea of their own purpose, in the larger sense, anyway. I derive my personal feeling of purpose from challenging folks I meet to see themselves in a different way. I’ve seen so many hurt in deep and perhaps permanent ways by MST and OCR. The organization had gained so much power that even when we knew things were going very wrong, we could not say anything effective to stop it. Any dissent would be put down, by the agreement of all. I had to watch people being wrongly treated and keep quiet or be put out and I could not let that happen. As long as I could remain inside, I knew what was going on, could try to soften the damage; reduce collateral damage. I think people kept on, hoping that what once was, when things were honest and true and beautiful, would return someday. There was a turning point where that was not going to happen and I can tell you exactly when that became clear to me. It was when Gregg was brought into the Jurlique fold. Things shifted almost immediately. Any of the rest of you who were around then…don’t you remember?

  4. ALL my dreams have some connection with the frustrations wiyhin the cult!

  5. Excuse me , my name is jack Wayson and I built the lodge, waycaster ( first) , and then energetic on pony lake road. I am sad for your grief but in those days we were all believers and deerfield was beautiful and vibrant. I myself fell , no fault of anyone but myself, but I was there in the beginning when MST bought the land and grant called me and asked me to build waycaster which I did with the help of (Ernie,from LA.?)..Melissa,Susan,Eric, et all…those were not bad times..whoever says they built the lodge is a liar unless its one of the folks I mentioned. Any questions feel free to contact me at jackewayson

  6. my son was beat to death now I’m just looking for answers . But something just keeps pulling me toward that place. When I speak of it at all or anything just get screamed at . Just wondering if any of you guys know anything.

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